If you know anything about the Assyrian Empire, Workbytes wants to shake your hand. (And call you "smarty-pants.")

You already know, for example, that the Assyrians controlled a vast stretch from Egypt to Iran in the 7th century B.C. And you're fully aware that they were under constant attack from more powerful neighbors.

But here's something you might not know: When they weren't getting their assyrians kicked, they managed to develop an important custom that rules the business world to this day. The Assyrians get credit for the handshake.

Apparently, it was used as a peace gesture after they defeated the Babylonians (for the Middle Eastern Conference title). The palm-to-palm sign of agreement grew into a what it is today: the preferred way to meet business contacts, close big business deals and occupy Greg Stewart's time between business classes.

Stewart teaches at the Tippie College of Business at the University of Iowa, and his study on the importance of a good handshake in the workplace will be published in September's Journal of Applied Psychology, which makes it a big deal.

Listen up, especially you young job seekers out there who still don't have anything lined up: Stewart says the prospective employee with the best handshake is more likely to get the job. His findings show that a firm, well-timed grip to go with your grin is as important as what you wear to the interview. Your Dale Earnhardt Jr. necktie will still stand out, trust us, but your sartorial splendor will be overshadowed by your gift (or lack thereof) of grab.

"There is a big first-impression effect," Stewart told Workbytes. "Employers make up their minds very quickly."

That goes for both genders.

"On average, women have a weaker handshake," he noted. "But women with a good handshake really impressed our interviewers. Women benefited more than men from a good technique."

Scientists have studied ways to prevent clamminess. Sociologists have examined the various cultural forms of the shake. And researchers at the University of Alabama concluded that people with good handshakes have more long-term career success. (They said the best ones are firm and warm, although there's a chance the results were mixed up with a separate study on dogs' noses.)

But to master the art of getting the upper hand, it might be smart to take a course. Workbytes recommends Craig Kelley, a business professor at Sacramento State University in California, who puts his students through the paces as part of his marketing and sales management class.

"One should extend your right hand -- sorry about the 15 percent of us who are left-handed - and firmly grasp the hand of the other person. Shake the person's hand twice and release," he instructed. "Do not hold onto the other person's hand, and do not use your left hand to grasp the right forearm of the other person."

Sound too complicated? You weak shakers might be in luck. Kelley says the Assyrian custom that survived countless centuries could be on the way out.

"The handshake may be lost as a way of greeting someone sometime in the future as the number of germaphobes grows," he said. "Right now I recommend that you wash your hands immediately at the end of a business social event when you have shaken several hands. One may carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer in a purse or an individual packet of hand sanitizer in one's pocket for men. The sanitizer should be used discretely, away from other people."

So maybe Anonymous was right : "A wagging tail is more sincere than any handshake."

But you have to keep in mind how dogs like to say hello.

By Larry Ballard
The Des Moines Register